Mommy Musings

I've decided to share some sentiments surrounding (a little alliteration, no? some days my brain is still half way here) the journey we call motherhood. Mind you, I'm only six months into this amazing learning experience; I'm sure I have so much to learn and marvel at. And to all you mommies out there, a very happy Mother's Day!

- Why is it that all things child proof are actually more adult proof?
- Inevitably, as soon as I feel we have gotten a "schedule" down pat and therefore pat myself on the back, chaos intrudes yet again. Naps, feeding patterns, etc become unpredictable (please note: I am not inviting comments on how to stay scheduled. thanks anyway, though! :)
- Children can be silent for hours, yet when you go to church or Sunday School they turn into chatter boxes at max volume.
- When you jump in the shower 30 minutes into nap time, the child (who normally sleeps 1 1/2 hours and wakes up happy as a clam) inexplainably awakes 45 minutes into the nap. . .crying. Of course your conditioner is still in and you're shaving your legs with only one leg done.
- A baby's ability to spit out medicine is remarkable.
- You discover you can recall and sing every nursery rhyme in the world but have no idea what might be on the Top 50 on the radio. . .because who has time to listen to that?! Being able to sing every nursery rhyme is quite the accomplishment though since when your baby came home and you tried to sing them, all you could remember was what was on the Top 50 pop music stations and felt like the worst mommy ever.
- Laugh or cry: you've bought your baby all these fantastic toys that encourage learning, development, blah, blah. . .and the munchkin is more intrigued by your water bottle and the dog.
- You quickly learn breast milk doesn't stain outfits (hooray!) but DOES stain Scotch-guarded couches. WHY?!
- The doctor sends you home after shots with the info sheets stating less than 5% of infants experienced fever, fussiness, etc after shots. Your child seems to be in this minority every time for every round of shots, medication side effects, etc. YET you know you'd never win the lottery or even a free scratch off ticket when those odds are present.
- You find yourself singing the songs you make up to sing to baby aloud in the car (even though you're alone) instead of listening to the radio. "We do the poopy dance when we poopy in our pants."
- You now talk to your dog and maybe even your husband in the same sing song voice you use with your baby.
- Talking about breasts and bowel movements publicly was taboo and embarrassing a year ago. Now it dominates conversation regardless of audience, male or female, etc.
- Your parents and friends are concerned because it seems you've developed early onset Alzheimer's. . .you can't remember what you did yesterday, and you lose your train of thought mid-sentence.
- When you do the poopy dance for your child, you jiggle in places you never wanted to jiggle.
- While before baby you never would have left the house without your mascara carefully applied, your hair and make up now move to the back seat. Consequently, your neighbors are worried about the homeless person who hangs out at your house.
- When you plan your morning, you generously estimate you'll need two hours to get both you and baby fed, dressed, and ready. Two and a half hours later, you're just walking out the door.
- Despite all of the above, you are happier than you've ever been in your life. The happiness and love multiplies each and every day!

**Thank you, Jackson Ford, for all you're teaching me. I love you to heaven and back!!**